I am told about a conversation with a friend about her man trying to meet up with some other chic at a bar. This is what he said about it:

"Yeah, she asked me what I thought. I asked her what he knew that she knew about the situation, and that it could be one of three things." He told me what he had told her.

It is only one...her man is a dumbass.

But then again, so are we--the ones who put up with it. Why, because
somehow, we think we have to. I don't know in what book is the "unwritten"
rule of "I am a wonderful person, and eventhough you take me completely
for granted, treat me like an old forgotten shoe, and elevate everything
meaningless to a higher level than me, I will stay right here, by your side
and you just come and go when you feel like it and whenever you want, okay?",
but that rule book should be burned.

I told my one of my dear friends, "You are eternal, yet he values paper more than you." when she told me of her man working so desperately to win a few hundred bucks in a contest. He has lost her almost completely, but he doesn't even put half the effort he did for the contest into his "love" for her he still claims to have.

There are a ridiculous amount of factors involved. Social pressure from family, financial enmeshment, kids, co-dependency, the ability to forgive too easily. However none of them are decent enough reasons to stay.

Yet there is a timing that is so elemental to survival of the beaten, and weary eh?

That is why women become like me. Very warm and caring, but no longer giving over every part of their life or love to anyone ever again. Hell, how can you give all your heart when chunks are missing? How can you make any decision that will affect your relationship with your children or your stitched up heart without fear and doubting? You can't. You just can't.

Every once in a while there is a sixth sense that tells me. "Be wary, be on your guard, take nothing for granted, and trust actions--not words."

I truely wish I could trust and give my whole heart again, but all I can do is offer what I have, and hope desperately I am not dissapointed yet again.