Walk with me... My life has not been easy. I was unable to recognize the things I needed to stay away from. I waltzed my way into grief and misery. I originally believed people to be generally good. I learned otherwise. I still believe in people, irregardless of the misery I have been through. However, I know them much better now, and I know when to run. I was 16. He was a friend of the family. He was a good little church member who led worship and followed all the "rules". Or so I believed... That was what you were "supposed" to do. Marry a "good" boy and live your life out the rest of your days with the same husband from now till death do we part... What did I learn? Life was opposite of what I had imagined in the fairy tale land of my head. The "good" boy was worse than some of the very worst. He simply hid behind religion. I had settled because I thought I had to accept whatever came my way and stick with it, whether I loved him or not. I also learned "religion" did not guarantee ANYTHING. I was 21 and divorced. A Vulture was waiting for his prey. Still naive and rather innocent, I fell victim a second time. This time, I wanted no part of religion and the lack did not phase me for one minute. I fought for 12 years for normalcy and balance and serenity with chaos, crime and insanity. After catching my second husband in bed with another woman, I still took him back. After he was in jail, after all the drugs, after his job loss after job loss, after I had been around motorcycle gang members, dealers, strangers of all shapes and sizes, I kept taking him back. I was supposed to keep my family together, right? AT WHAT COST?! "NO." One word I finally came to use in my torn and tattered existence. No more. I stepped out and away from crazy into stability and harmony. Into peace and safety. Walk with me now. I will show you what "right" is for me and my children. Right is stability. My children do not have to worry about how they will be treated, of who will be in their home, of who is their authority, nor of any comparisons with others. Truth--if I believed my marriage would withstand "Brady Bunch" and followed that accepted "norm", I would be attempting to wrestle with chaos again. Right is peace. My children do not have to watch stress and arguments and feel tension or defensiveness. These have no ability to take residence in their house. Truth--if I believed that marrying my man would be doing what is "right" and followed this "norm", I would be adding a fine dose of instability and insanity to the lives of my children. Nothing like arguing about someone else's kids or money, eh? Right is safety. My children are safe from anyone who would take the peace or stability out of their lives. Truth--if I believed that following social "norms" keeps my children safe from the imbalance of a single parent home, I would be putting them in emotional harm's way. They know and understand my ways, style of discipline and quirks. Why would I expect them to adapt to a new set of rules and methods and temperaments just because I want my man around all the time? "Right" is not following fantasy, but understanding reality and choosing to admit that what is true, not what is believed, is the path you should follow. I do not follow the "rules" because the "rules" hurt me and harm my family. I do not care what "rules" say when I see the truth of the matter is I have serenity because I quit believing life to be something other than what it really is. I leave the rest up to my Creator above because I know that he knows exactly who and what I am. Since, I finally understand that none of us are or ever will be perfect, I have peace and the ability to show grace for the imperfections of others. If you have walked with me,you can now comprehend my reasons and stance behind the life of peace I now choose. I will allow you to choose the reasons for the way you live your life too.