Even Achilles

Even heros have their weakness.

As strong as we are, as happy, as fun, we each have an Achilles heel.

Only one threatens Shangri-la.

Only one persisitently beckons and calls.

The other is good enough to remain silent and away.

I don't pursue, or reach out.

But you still feel the need, it is the only chink in our armor.

The one thing that could make us fall.

I focus on the happy, the love and fun.

My heart's blood oozes bleeding with each passing beat.

It skips as I hear of conversations, as I continue to fear.

I grasp every moment in a panic, like each is the last straw.

I know I can't fix, control, don't have any right whatsoever to cry out "STOP! Please stop...!"

I have to allow what I hate, let happen events that fall into place, let go if I must, shut up to keep from pushing you far.

The whole while focusing only forward and not in reverse.

I try to stifle fantasies of murder. Especially because I know I would follow through.

Why should I be like this...after-all been there done that both sides.

Guess this is the first time in a long time I have actually cared if the worst happened. I had given up when I was left before, and this time, well, I don't want to. I feel if I handle it right, if I do things just so, everything will be okay this time. Don't repeat the mistakes of trying to stop it, or fighting over it, or overcompensating for it.

Just act as if everything is okay, right?! That should do it, right?

One can only hope.

I see the weakness, I know it is real. You are blind, my darlin, you think you are a fortress. Others have thought that before. Never believe you are more than you really are, you cannot stand.

When you acknowledge and accept your weakness, you guard yourself from attack. You sheild yourself from the enemy. You don't chat with it every day.

Sigh. Not each and every day...

At first, yeah, I was jealous, I wanted to have that freedom too. I wanted to converse with, laugh with, enjoy my weakness too.

But reason works me over.

Reality sees me through.

What I have is so precious.

What I have is like fine wine.

Don't drop this vintage bottle. It's glass is weak from aging, its molecules broken down. Please don't make me shatter, please don't waste the wine. It is all I have, it is the best of its kind.

Your words build me up like a princess, your actions knock me down.

I go for silver linings, but the lightning may just strike us.

For now, I will hold out...for now, I will hold on.